Eclipse II

E a curiosidade respondeu-me isto...

"Na Mitologia Egípcia, os ciclos da Lua representam a luta entre os deuses Seth e Horus, a eterna batalha entre a Luz e as Trevas, entre a Ordem e o Caos.
Para os iniciados nos Mistérios do Antigo Egito, os movimentos dos planetas constituem autênticas cátedras, verdadeiros ensinamentos espirituais dispostos no Cosmos pela Divindade. Através do que os gnósticos chamam de Dialética da Consciência é possível aprender com a posição e movimento das orbes do espaço, ou seja, aprender diretamente da Natureza.
O Eclipse Lunar é representado na Mitologia Egípcia pelo acontecimento em que, durante a batalha pela sucessão de Osíris, Seth rouba o Olho Lunar de seu irmão Horus. É então que Thoth, deus da sabedoria, procura e encontra na escuridão o Olho, e o coloca no firmamento para voltar a refletir a luz solar.
O eclipse ensina ao aspirantes do caminho iniciático que o domínio sobre si mesmo exige tanto que se trabalhe para desenvolver valores positivos (simbolizados por Horus) quanto que se realize um esforço para dominar os instintos animais (simbolizados por Seth) através da sabedoria (simbolizada por Thoth)."

Please Hear What I'm Not Saying

Don't be fooled by me.
Don't be fooled by the face I wear
for I wear a mask, a thousand masks,
masks that I'm afraid to take off,
and none of them is me.

Pretending is an art that's second nature with me,
but don't be fooled,
for God's sake don't be fooled.
I give you the impression that I'm secure,
that all is sunny and unruffled with me, within as well
as without,
that confidence is my name and coolness my game,
that the water's calm and I'm in command
and that I need no one,
but don't believe me.
My surface may seem smooth but my surface is my mask,
ever-varying and ever-concealing.
Beneath lies no complacence.
Beneath lies confusion, and fear, and aloneness.
But I hide this. I don't want anybody to know it.
I panic at the thought of my weakness exposed.
That's why I frantically create a mask to hide behind,
a nonchalant sophisticated facade,
to help me pretend,
to shield me from the glance that knows.

But such a glance is precisely my salvation, my only hope,
and I know it.
That is, if it's followed by acceptance,
if it's followed by love.
It's the only thing that can liberate me from myself,
from my own self-built prison walls,
from the barriers I so painstakingly erect.
It's the only thing that will assure me
of what I can't assure myself,
that I'm really worth something.
But I don't tell you this. I don't dare to, I'm afraid to.
I'm afraid your glance will not be followed by acceptance,
will not be followed by love.
I'm afraid you'll think less of me,
that you'll laugh, and your laugh would kill me.
I'm afraid that deep-down I'm nothing
and that you will see this and reject me.

So I play my game, my desperate pretending game,
with a facade of assurance without
and a trembling child within.
So begins the glittering but empty parade of masks,
and my life becomes a front.
I tell you everything that's really nothing,
and nothing of what's everything,
of what's crying within me.
So when I'm going through my routine
do not be fooled by what I'm saying.
Please listen carefully and try to hear what I'm not saying,
what I'd like to be able to say,
what for survival I need to say,
but what I can't say.

I don't like hiding.
I don't like playing superficial phony games.
I want to stop playing them.
I want to be genuine and spontaneous and me
but you've got to help me.
You've got to hold out your hand
even when that's the last thing I seem to want.
Only you can wipe away from my eyes
the blank stare of the breathing dead.
Only you can call me into aliveness.
Each time you're kind, and gentle, and encouraging,
each time you try to understand because you really care,
my heart begins to grow wings
very small wings,
very feeble wings,
but wings!

With your power to touch me into feeling
you can breathe life into me.
I want you to know that.
I want you to know how important you are to me,
how you can be a creator and honest to God creator
of the person that is me
if you choose to.
You alone can break down the wall behind which I tremble,
you alone can remove my mask,
you alone can release me from my shadow-world of panic,
from my lonely prison,
if you choose to.
Please choose to.

Do not pass me by.
It will not be easy for you.
A long conviction of worthlessness builds strong walls.
The nearer you approach to me
the blinder I may strike back.
It's irrational, but despite what the books say about man
often I am irrational.
I fight against the very thing I cry out for.
But I am told that love is stronger than strong walls
and in this lies my hope.
Please try to beat down those walls
with firm hands but with gentle hands
for a child is very sensitive.

Who am I, you may wonder?
I am someone you know very well.
For I am every man you meet
and I am every woman you meet.

Charles C. Finn - September 1966

Sentir II

Gosto de ficar assim, quieta só comigo no meio do mundo, a sentir as pessoas, a sentir o Universo. É como se partículas se movessem e eu, quieta, as sentisse como brisas de conforto.
Gosto de sentir esta serenidade e presença dentro de mim, é doce e de uma beleza incomparável... gostava de a conservar dentro de mim sempre e em qualquer situação... o sorriso brota de dentro de mim, o sabor a café nos meus lábios e na minha língua, a "Saudade" da Cesária nos meus ouvidos, o odor de um perfume que emana do meu corpo nas minhas narinas, e para a vista, a margem sul, a 25 de Abril e o meu Cristo com a luz única de um pôr-de-sol quente... gostava de a conservar sempre dentro de mim.
"Perder isto ... só por alguém que a acrescente"